Sometimes in order to grow happiness we must first endure pain.  Appreciation for love, life and the blessings we receive grows through the trials that we face.  Some families live through unthinkable circumstances, while others seem to sail through life, but not everyone comes out smiling on the other side.  Gratitude is the key.

Does this mean that if we have never faced great challenges in our lives that we can’t possibly appreciate what we have?  No, I believe some people possess a sense of gratitude that transcends any circumstance while others have to learn to be grateful. 

The news and internet are filled with stories about people who embrace their illness, smile their way through cancer or live their life with dignity and gratitude regardless of their situation.  We watch in awe, and wonder if we could live with such grace and courage, if faced with similar circumstances.

A little over five years ago, our oldest daughter, Alex, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  I will not describe the detailed events of that day, but suffice it to say that we broke down immediately because we didn’t want it to be true. While we knew this was something she could live with, we were devastated.  Our tears were quickly put in check, when Alex asked us if she was going to die!  Instantly, we became the faces of positivity and reassurance.  There was still sadness and uncertainty, but through these difficult times her confidence grew.  We worked on moving forward.  We assured her that she could still do anything she wanted, it would just take a little extra work. 

Putting diabetes in our back pocket and moving forward became our mantra.  For three years it worked.  We had ups and downs, tears, fears and frustration, but we kept moving forward.

On April 9, 2009 at 6:00 in the morning, Alex had a grand mal seizure and fell out of the shower!  It was loud and uncontrollable; and then came the deafening silence of unconsciousness…It was terrifying!  Consciousness quickly gave way to gratefulness.  Alex’s blood sugar was 20, she was in the shower and she could have been killed.  By the grace of God, she was fine.

We could no longer put this disease in our back pocket and move forward.  We were mired in fear and uncertainty.  We were stuck between watching her every second and encouraging her to be the independent person she had become. 

Alex learned to move forward again.  She entered high school with resilience and wisdom.  We remained hesitant and frightened. 

In September of 2009, we had our largest group participate in the JDRF walk.  Most of them were girls and coaches from Alex’s volleyball team.  Several weeks later Alex was at youth group when her pastor presented them with the question, “Where is God in your life?”  That night we cried as she described her feelings to that question:

   “I have hated diabetes since the day I was diagnosed.  I can’t stand checking my blood sugar all of the time.  I hate not being able to eat what I want, when I want it. I hate being high and low; having to sit out of a volleyball game because I can’t get it right!  Tonight, when my pastor asked us where God was in our lives, I knew.  He is right here with me.  I believe he let me have diabetes so that I would know and see the good things in my life!  Without diabetes, I might not be able to see what friendship is all about.  I might not be able to see the good in people.  Two weeks ago, at the JDRF walk, those people came for me!  I haven’t even known them that long and they came and walked with me.  My diabetes is a gift.  I might not always like it, but I believe it is a gift.”

Alex has dignity, grace and gratitude.  She isn’t happy she has diabetes, but she has learned to embrace it.  I am still learning.