“How often is our attention wasted on judging, criticizing and correcting others while we neglect the examination and lessons of our own life?" 
                                                              Gregg Krech

                                                        

This week I am going to be discussing Naikan.  According to Gregg Krech, in his book,"Naikan:  Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection",Naikan actually means, "inside observation."  It's important to understand this because most of us practice,  Gaikan which Krech describes as "outside observation."  According to Krech, Gaikan is when we use our attention to judge or change others.   He goes on to say, 

"when we're noticing our parents, spouse, or business associates and judging and criticizing their conduct, we're doing gaikan.  When our focus is on how the other person needs to change, to improve the way he or she is living, we're doing gaikan.  When we're blaming others, attending to their weaknesses, faults, and limitations, we're doing gaikan.  If we spend a great deal of time doing gaikan, we will become good at it."

 How many of us spend our time worrying about others' behavior and not taking a close look at our own.  This is what Naikan is all about; taking a closer look at our own actions.  
  
 Naikan is a Buddhist technique developed by Ishin Yoshimoto in the late 1940s as a way to reflect on yourself, the gifts you receive, what you give to others and your actions.  It's a great way to focus your journaling time and bring gratitude to the center.

Naikan involves asking yourself three questions which allow you to become AWARE of the presence of gratitude in your life.  I have recently spent some time with this and I can tell you that if you truly take the time to reflect on these questions, that it will begin to transform your relationships and your appreciation of things around you because it changes your perception of everyone and everything.

1.       The first question is, " What have I received from?"  This question focuses on the gifts that we have received.  It could be something small such as a smile, a door being held open or someone else doing their job well .  When we begin to look deeper at the things that happen TO us or AROUND us we begin to appreciate the small things. We begin to focus on what is going RIGHT rather than what is going wrong.    An example of this that we consider having fresh water out of our faucet  a small thing that most of us would not even put on our gratitude list.  However, recently our water was contaminated and we could only use bottled water.  It was a huge inconvenience and let me  tell you I no longer considered it a SMALL  thing. So the idea is that we need to look at things in a different way.  Some of our small things are really big things that we are receiving everyday.

2.       The second question is," What have I given to today?"  By focusing on what you are giving to those around you it REALLY takes away your sense of entitlement.  You are REDIRECTED from that feeling of being owed something to looking for ways that you can bless someone else.  This is important because perhaps if you stop to reflect on this you will realize that you could be giving more to others in the sense of love, peace or holding the door open for someone.

3.   The third question is,  " What troubles/difficulties may I have caused or contributed to?" We have a tendency  to look at how others  have wronged us. It is our natural instinct.  This part of the practice forces us to think about how we may have pained someone else.  Perhaps we were late for an appointment, but we had a really good reason.  We tend to justify it.  However, if someone causes us to be late we have a tendency to see fault with them.   Take the time to really think about the inconvenience or trouble you may have caused someone else. This is a tough question because we don’t want to think about our faults. Greg Krech an author on the practice of Naikan says,

“If we are not willing to see and accept those events in which we have been the source of others’ suffering then we cannot truly know ourselves or the grace by which we live.”

Naikan is a beautiful practice that forces us to become conscious of how we are walking through our life and I encourage all of you to try it. 

If you are one of those people who woke up this morning and wondered how you got here, then start living consciously. Stop reacting and start acting with awareness and understanding. Think before you speak. Live your life with purpose, with soul and above all with gratitude.

 

 


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