Happy Valentine’s Day

Being Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be appropriate to share my thoughts regarding the, “pursuit of perfection” in love and relationships. 

If I use the definition from last week to describe, “perfection” as it is related to love or our closest relationships I really begin to struggle with a connection.  “Flawlessness” is how Merriam-Webster dictionary defines perfection.  Are any of your relationships flawless?  I didn’t think so. 

What are we looking for when we look for our perfect love?  There isn’t a description that I can come up with that encompasses what any one person would consider perfect.  We each have our own idea of what perfect should be.  Just as each of us is unique, so are our needs and desires in our relationships. Fundamentally, it’s about mutual attraction, trust, respect, acceptance, how we feel about the other person and ultimately, how the other person makes us feel about ourselves. 

Nineteen years ago, I married my best friend.  Together we moved across the country, started jobs, cultivated new friendships, had 3 daughters, traveled for business, worked long hours, endured illness and disappointment, lost ourselves, grew older, found great joy and happiness, learned from one another, laughed, cried, hated each other, held each other, grew together and through it all loved one another. 

So what can we hope for in our “pursuit of perfection” in love?  To find another who loves you with all of your imperfections, who trusts, respects and accepts you while you grow and change through life’s ups and downs and finds you worthy of all the love they have to give.

“Love isn’t finding the perfect person.  It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly. “

                                                                                                                                      - Sam Keen