The Pursuit of Perfection: Part 4
Posted by Lori Brown on Friday, March 2, 2012
This last story is about family and the "pursuit of perfection" at home. In my previous blogs, this month, I have defined perfection using several sources. My favorite source, however, refers to the origin of the word perfection:
"The genealogy of the concept of "perfection" reaches back beyond Latin, to Greek. The Greek equivalent of the Latin "perfectus" was "teleos." The latter Greek expression generally had concrete referents, such as a perfect physician or flutist, a perfect comedy or a perfect social system. Hence the Greek "teleiotes" was not yet so fraught with abstract and superlative associations as would be the Latin "perfectio" or the modern "perfection." To avoid the latter associations, the Greek term has generally been translated as "completeness" rather than "perfection." (Wikipedia)
When I heard this definition I knew this was the description I was looking for to round out my month on the "pursuit of perfection." This is the word that best describes what I am striving for in my family. To be complete at whatever I do; completely present, completely focused and completely accessible.
We hear a lot about balancing work and family, but what about balancing your time within the family? Many of you know that our life is fast paced and stressful. While our older kids contribute greatly to our crazy lifestyle and they seem to be flourishing, I wonder about our youngest. She goes with the flow out of necessity, but what are we teaching her about the "pursuit of perfection?"
She sees us being with and supporting our oldest daughters in the pursuit of their goals, but she is too young to understand or value the life lessons that they are receiving. She just feels left out, less than and often, like her feelings don't matter. That couldn't be further from the truth, but how do you explain that to a 9 year old? You don't. You show her. You show her with your time and your complete presence. For many of us this is where the rubber meets the road. Often, time is difficult to come by and when we are present with our kids we think that is enough. Kids know when you are talking on the phone while attempting to do a craft with them, that you aren't really there. They know when you sit down to watch their favorite show and you are working on your laptop that you are still at work.
When I take the time to show up completely with my 9 year old, she knows it and she acts differently. She smiles more, she is affectionate, she is confident, she shares more about her day and she doesn't have to find ways to get my attention because she knows I am completely present. To my 9 year old, this is "perfection."
Our kids want all of us. That is what makes them feel important, loved and perfect just the way they are.
So, next time you find yourself wanting the perfect family, try being a little more "perfect/complete" yourself and see the transformation before your eyes.
I challenge you to try this completeness exercise: Pay attention to what happens when you are completely focused, present and accessible with each person you come in contact with for one day. I guarantee that you will see a difference in how people react to you. Leave a comment or email me and let me know the outcome of your experiment!
Tips on "Pursuing Perfection" at Home
Be present
Be affectionate
Be interested
Show gratitude
Praise their strengths
Listen
Praise their efforts as well as their achievements
Give of your time
Be consistent
Be joyful
Peace & Gratitude
"The genealogy of the concept of "perfection" reaches back beyond Latin, to Greek. The Greek equivalent of the Latin "perfectus" was "teleos." The latter Greek expression generally had concrete referents, such as a perfect physician or flutist, a perfect comedy or a perfect social system. Hence the Greek "teleiotes" was not yet so fraught with abstract and superlative associations as would be the Latin "perfectio" or the modern "perfection." To avoid the latter associations, the Greek term has generally been translated as "completeness" rather than "perfection." (Wikipedia)
When I heard this definition I knew this was the description I was looking for to round out my month on the "pursuit of perfection." This is the word that best describes what I am striving for in my family. To be complete at whatever I do; completely present, completely focused and completely accessible.
We hear a lot about balancing work and family, but what about balancing your time within the family? Many of you know that our life is fast paced and stressful. While our older kids contribute greatly to our crazy lifestyle and they seem to be flourishing, I wonder about our youngest. She goes with the flow out of necessity, but what are we teaching her about the "pursuit of perfection?"
She sees us being with and supporting our oldest daughters in the pursuit of their goals, but she is too young to understand or value the life lessons that they are receiving. She just feels left out, less than and often, like her feelings don't matter. That couldn't be further from the truth, but how do you explain that to a 9 year old? You don't. You show her. You show her with your time and your complete presence. For many of us this is where the rubber meets the road. Often, time is difficult to come by and when we are present with our kids we think that is enough. Kids know when you are talking on the phone while attempting to do a craft with them, that you aren't really there. They know when you sit down to watch their favorite show and you are working on your laptop that you are still at work.
When I take the time to show up completely with my 9 year old, she knows it and she acts differently. She smiles more, she is affectionate, she is confident, she shares more about her day and she doesn't have to find ways to get my attention because she knows I am completely present. To my 9 year old, this is "perfection."
Our kids want all of us. That is what makes them feel important, loved and perfect just the way they are.
So, next time you find yourself wanting the perfect family, try being a little more "perfect/complete" yourself and see the transformation before your eyes.
I challenge you to try this completeness exercise: Pay attention to what happens when you are completely focused, present and accessible with each person you come in contact with for one day. I guarantee that you will see a difference in how people react to you. Leave a comment or email me and let me know the outcome of your experiment!
Tips on "Pursuing Perfection" at Home
Be present
Be affectionate
Be interested
Show gratitude
Praise their strengths
Listen
Praise their efforts as well as their achievements
Give of your time
Be consistent
Be joyful
Peace & Gratitude